Jane is so creative.

I’ve heard that my whole life.

And never believed it.

Because I’ve never allowed myself to be creative.

So what is creativity?

In my mind,   A creative mind is a busy mind.       And often a crazy mind.

I walk around every day,  all day , creating things in my mind.   Ideas,  paintings,  poems, businesses, events,  products… I have so many “ what if we did this..” . or “someone should do that..” . floating around up there!

It’s maddening.

 

It’s no wonder I feel like I’m losing my mind half the time.  Early Alzheimer’s??? Hormonal brain lapse???   Ummm no?  Can’t use those excuses because I’ve been this way all my life.

Of course I Do use those excuses ,    often.

But, I’m not talking the usual … walk into another room and forget what you came for … or …. can’t find your glasses that are sitting a top your head…  pffft!!!  child’s play.

NOOOOOOO…

I’m talking

Showing up at a very important event ,5 hours away ,a full day early !!!

Yep.     Did that.

Try laughing THAT one off with dignity!

You see… my mind is never at rest.  Never clear, even for a moment.   Because I see the potential in EVERYTHING!

Whaaat?!!!

you’re throwing that away??? I can make something out of that!

It also doesn’t help that I am a die hard “do-it-yourselfer” but that’s a whole other topic.

SO…

My problem is not that I have so many ideas,    it’s that I never learned to actually make those ideas a priority.  To give them focus and life ! So they can get the hell out of my head and stop sucking the life outta me !

Up until now I’ve  alway put everything and everyone else in my life ahead of my creativity.  For awhile it was out of necessity, like, paying the bills, or raising the kids. But I really could have made the time for myself.  If I’m honest, I didn’t just put others ahead of me… I actually replaced them for me. I wasn’t even in the picture. I think it was easier than trying to organize and manage all those ideas. And it sure as hell was safer. No chance in failing or looking stupid if you don’t try.. am I right?

So all those years of stuffing down and shoving back those amazing ideas and thoughts have created a “creativity frustrated “ mind. ( I couldn’t even think of the word “frustrated“ SERIOUSLY! I actually had to walk away for a moment to pull that incredibly advanced adjective outta my brain) L.M.A.O!!!

soooo…

out of necessity now, so I don’t lose my mind, I will give those creative thoughts priority!

That is really what this blog will be for me. To let it out. To share it all. To hold myself accountable for deciding to take a chance and see where all those ideas will take me in this second chapter of my life.

At this wonderful age I don’t give a shit about failing, or looking stupid.  When you get to your 50’s you start to see the end. You start to realize your time here is getting increasingly shorter.  And the worse thing you can think of is not failure, it’s wasting the  talents you’ve been given.

For now on my priorities will be my health, and letting my creative thoughts out!!! To come to life!

Because after my day early arrival at that event I spoke of earlier…

CLEARLY the two are connected .