An introvert’s Christmas at the farm

THIS…. will be our very first Christmas in our new home.

This year… will be the first in nearly 25 years I will not be running around town dodging the traffic, shoppers, weather, and my anxiety.

This year… I will be enjoying the peaceful space that has finally manifested into our reality.

I’ve been fantasizing of living in the country on a simple little farm , in a quaint little farmhouse all of my life.  My spirit needs It.  It craves it.  And for the last 10 years especially, it’s been screaming for it.

My husband and I joke that I could go into town once a month for “provisions” and be perfectly happy.

Two and a half years ago , on one of our Sunday drives out in the country… we found the perfect spot. Ten acres, just outside of town , down a dirt road, surrounded by pecan trees , horses, farm land, and good people.

The process hasn’t been easy, but through it all … its been right.  And now, here I am. Waking up in the home I designed, to the most beautiful foggy view out the bedroom window.  A cup of coffee at the kitchen table with the morning  sun shining in through the kitchen window. Just as I’d planned.

So…. This Christmas I am doing what I love. Not what the world says I should. I will listen to music. I will bake a few cookies. I will walk my property and collect the gifts from nature and make Christmas decorations. I will be my introverted self and make no apologies. Christmas shopping and  parties are not for me. I have done it all for the ones that I Love year after year. But at this age, in this time of my life,  those loved ones by now Know my love and they understand what my soul needs.

My Christmas wish for you all is that you create in your life what your soul needs.  Feed your soul so that you don’t lose sight of  what this time is about. If we burn ourselves out , we have nothing left to give.  Consider less things and more moments to treasure. For those of us who already have what we need and so much more , how about we find the ones who don’t, and spend your time and money on them.

I…

will be here.

Thankful beyond words for all the years, challenges, hard work and dreams that have landed me here…

where my soul is fed.

Just Start

Well! I’ve been wanting to start this blog for quite a while now. Unbelievably… I created the site almost a year ago, when I thought my life was finally going to slow down enough for me to find some quiet time to be able to collect my never ending thoughts and ideas in a coherent and not so insane way.

But… life took over again.

Case in point… currently as I write… I am laying on my beautiful white linen couch listening to the wind and the rain on a beautiful December evening. Our Christmas lights on the porch and tree are twinkling …Christmas music softly playing but not too loudly that I can’t still hear the horses next door or the train whistle in the distance, WHILE….

our THREE  5 month old puppies are wrestling (and humping )each other on top of me !

yes…. that is my life in a nutshell.

My point????

I suppose I’ve been waiting for that perfect moment to start doing what I really want to do.

( I … of course…moved out from under the little shits over to the table to continue… and …of course… they are now under my chair carrying on with their bad selves.)

Is it any wonder why I can’t collect my crazy long enough to start,  let alone finish anything?

Clearly that perfect time will never come.   Clearly my life will alway be crazy… in a good way. There is alway something funny, silly crazy going on in this house, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. How boring would THAT life be?

So I am hoping to just start.

That will be  my focus for now. Here is where I chose to start.

I have so many ideas and thoughts I’d like to express and share and discuss.

Countless  things I want to do and create,  and so many places I want to see and experience.

And quite a few stupid , silly moments … because laughter is key to a happy life. …and dancing.

Also, I’ve learned that if you have a creative mind,  you either find a way and the time to use it…. or you lose it.    Your mind that is.

By choice… I have spent the last 20 plus years making sure that my family has had everything they wanted and needed to make them happy and healthy.  It was my career choice. My job title??  Home Manager … specializing in child development and family wellness.

I despise the phrase “ stay at home Mom” .

I am so grateful for those years and the opportunity to be a Career Mother . My husband and I worked really hard to make that choice happen. Now… Our family makes me so proud and our kids are turning into two incredible humans . And… my husband and I still Like each other.

So…

While most certainly I will be sharing my many wonderful memories as well as the difficult lessons learned along the way, What I am really after is to discover  who I am now.

And

who I am choosing to become.