Two and a half years ago I had a hysterectomy and bladder repair.   TMI? Maybe a few years ago… but after 50 I don’t worry so much about that kind of stuff. I speak my truth and hopefully it will help someone else.

People are still weary to talk about and or share their experiences with middle age, and so those who are going into it (peri menopause, which can start as early as you late 30’s apparently) or we who are well into it, feel alone , uninformed , and maybe embarrassed of all the symptoms. Yah… there’s A lot of information out there online, but nothing beats talking about real experiences with other women

so here goes…

i used to be unstoppable. I was a career Mom and did it all. Spotless home, volunteered too often, exercised every day, cooked every meal, cleaned my own home, cared for too many pets, gardened, and most importantly cared for my kids to the best of my ability. To say I was a hands-on Mom is not enough. I was not a controlling/hover Mom… but I did spend enormous amounts of time with them.  I still do. Even though they are grown and living out of the house, I still try to do a lot for them just to try and make college and entering into adulthood not quite as shocking as it was for me.

But it has been really , really difficult these past few years.

Full disclosure… 2 months after my surgery, we sold our home, moved into a rental,moved our daughter and son into their own separate rentals, designed and built ( i was the general contractor) our present home, moved into our downsized home, …move both of our KIDS into our downsized home… added 3 puppies to our 2 dogs and cat ( NOT my idea) , cleared ,cleaned and managed our 10 acres, moved our son out and then twice more because of rental issues, moved our daughter away for college, while trying to finish and decorate our new home.

yep… I’m insane.

and all this time I’m dealing with continuous hot flashes, night sweats, insomnia, and the worst…BRAIN FOG. I can’t remember anything and a lot of times can’t even verbalize what I want to say.

I also stopped exercising completely for the first time in my life, started having a glass of wine or hard apple cider every night ( I never drank before) and indulged daily in my favorite comfort foods ( Oreos and all things sweet).

I’ve gained 20 lbs and feel weak, sluggish and unattractive.

this last weekend was the last straw.  We visited our stunningly beautiful 21 year old daughter at college and made a nearly fatal move… we went shopping together…

Trust me when I say I do not recommend it!

Now…. I know… I know… I can’t compare myself to my beautiful,  21 year old daughter… BUT I do need to start making an effort again.

So… on the way home… while my husband drove home in shock at how much money we just spent on an over night visit to spoil his girl… I found an app to encourage my midlife  makeover.

Its myfitnesspal,  And it will help me watch my diet, water intake and exercise.

I’m on day 3 and already feel better.

i also swear by the an herbal supplement I found by Pure Essence called Transitions.

In fact before the hurricane… when everyone else was stocking up on water and food…. I was stocking up on that shit!  It helps so much with the hot flashes !!!

Bottom line is, I can’t keep going the way I have been. And I can’t expect to get myself back to who I was before. It’s time to develop a new healthy middle aged normal.  With appropriate exercise and a manageable lifestyle with myself as a priority. I’m going to do my best, but old habits are hard to break… I’ll keep you posted.