I am currently experiencing my midlife awakening .
Recently, one well intended person called it a midlife crisis. … explaining to me when I disagreed that …
“that’s what they call it” .
THIS is nothing of a crisis.
This is a midlife reawakening. A second bloom . A remembering of who I am , always have been, and finally having the time and the courage… or the just don’t give a shit what others think … to share it… live it … Bloom.
I turn 54 this spring, and believe me when I say I’ve been through some Hot Summers, frosty Autumns and some HARD Winters in my life.
I intend to allow myself to bloom this second Spring of my life.
That’s what I feel midlife is. A second Spring.
Midlife, when you get here, if you’ve worked through all (well maybe most) of your shit, is the time when you get to… Do You… in a healthy way.
For many women , we have spent our lives “doing” for everyone else BUT ourselves. Much of that is taught to us from the very beginning…”be nice”…”don’t be selfish”.
A lot is our nurturing instinct.
I AM a nurturer. I just never included myself….carved the time out to nurture myself …until now.
Empty nested, now I can nurture …My health, My likes and interests, MY happiness… MYSELF.
Choosing to be a full time mother and struggling financially in the earlier years has now placed me in this comfortable space that I CAN afford to have the time to “do me” ; that, and my incredibly hard working husband. I realize every single day how fortunate I am to be where I am in life. I struggle with the guilt of that… knowing millions of others are struggling to survive and I am living in safety and comfort.
I also know through experience that at any moment it can all be gone in the blink of an eye.
I am going to appreciate what we have worked so hard for. I am going to give as much as I can to relieve even just a bit of suffering in the world.
But I am also going to have some frickin’ fun.
I’m going to dance in public and work on my art DAILY and not worry if its good enough. I’m going to talk to the birds and the trees and the fruits and veggies and flowers that I am growing out here.
I’m slowly recalling what my interests are and pursuing them. My birthday gift from Paul was a real camera. Photography is something I’ve always been interested in . Midlife gives me the time to do it.
Writing is something I’ve done in my journal, in private, midlife is giving me the courage to put it in this blog.
Dancing is my favorite thing to do. Midlife is giving me the gumption and the don’t give a shit to share my dork dancing online …also …my kids are gone so I don’t have them to dance with… and Paul has seen it so much half the time he doesn’t even notice it. lol.
My point is … I want people to know that midlife doesn’t suck at all. It’s a time to remember yourself. And to motivate yourself like we motivated our kids or everyone else in our lives , to pursue your own interests.
To bloom again.
and if you have the gumption … dance like a dork in public.
8 thoughts on “my second bloom”